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Sleeping FAQ: 3-4 months
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Lunchtime Nap
7. |
My 3 mth daughter will sleep for 45 minutes at lunchtime then wake and not settle again. She has a couple of times but I had not done anything differently so there are no clues there for me. I have tried leaving her and going in every so often, usually every 20 minutes to reassure her with my voice. It will take up to 50 minutes but sometimes she will settle back to sleep. The other day I went in and picked her up as I was worried she had wind. When I did this, she did not settle back to sleep. I am worried now that I have broken the pattern? Should I carry on persistently leaving her and letting her settle back to sleep? She is woken at 7.30am and has a nap of 30 minutes from 9.00/9.15. I put her down for lunchtime nap at 12/12.15 and she goes down OK with about 5/10 minutes of crying down. She does not seem to be hungry as will always happily wait to 2.30pm to feed and she has 8oz at 11am which she takes her time of drinking. Should I start taking her out for the 2 hours? The problem is it has been so cold.
My daughter takes 5ozs formula and 3ozs expressed milk at 7.30am, 11am, 2.30pm and 6pm. She takes 4ozs formula and 2ozs expressed milk at 10pm. She weighs 11.5lbs approximately.
She naps at 9-9.30am, 12-12.45pm and 4.30-5pm.
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| 6. |
Everything with the routine is going fantastically apart from the lunchtime nap for my 13 week old baby. I follow the routines to the minute almost, every day and have tried all the strategies including a top up feed before noon, ensuring she is tucked in well, clean nappy etc, but every day she wakes between 35 - 45 minutes after noon. I have been using the crying down method and this works really well at the start of her sleeps - within usually a minute she is quiet now. But at lunchtime when she wakes after her first cycle she cries and cannot re-settle herself - a few times after 45 minutes of crying she has settled back for another 1/2 hour, but most days she will cry for an hour or more (sometimes intermittently but often almost non stop) and I am really concerned that none of this is working - I have been sticking to this for over 4 weeks now and there doesn't seem to be any improvement. I do go into her every 15- 20 minutes to try to soothe her. Please can you provide any help? I hate to leave her crying when I can't see that it is making any difference. Equally, I don't know what to do if I do get her up instead, because I want to stick to the feeding times and not feed her earlier than 2:30pm. I am worried about upsetting the rest of the routine (including night time which is working perfectly at the moment and has done so for a long time). The reason I get her up at 7:30am instead of 7am is because I can’t keep her going beyond 1.5 hours at that time in the morning. Everything else I have read says not to leave a baby to cry under 6 months old.
My daughter is fully breast fed. At 7.30am,30 minutes, both sides, 10.30am 25mins, empties one side and most of the second, 11.55am 5 minute top up feed, 2.30pm 30minutes, both sides, 5.30pm 25minutes, one side and most of second, 6.55pm 5 minutes top up feed, 10.30pm 15-20mins, empties one side and takes as much as she needs from second before getting sleepy.
My daughter weighs 14lbs.4.5ozs.
She naps at 9-9.30am, 12-12.45pm and 3.30-4.30pm.
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| 5. |
My daughter is waking approximately one hour after going down for her lunchtime nap. She also sometimes wakes after going down at 7pm. She screams for about 20-40 minutes before going back down to sleep. She will sometimes fully sleep but sometimes it is just fretful catnaps. I would like to get her past this as I am sure that it is affecting her quality as well as quantity of sleep.
She is generally a very contented baby, eating well and sleeping most nights through from 10.30pm. She is happy, interested and loving. I don’t want her to come off the routines as it the best thing for us both.
My daughter is formula fed 8ozs at 7.10am, 11am, 6.15pm and 10.15pm. She takes 6ozs at 2.30pm. She weighs 15.13 ozs.
She naps at 9.15- 9.5am, 11.45-2pm and 4.30-5pm.
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| 4. |
I suffer from an immune disorder which makes me very weak physically; having a second child was a bit of a risk really. I have also just been diagnosed with PND. We have been trying the routine but are having such problems with the lunch-time nap as our 8-week-old wakes after 45 minutes. Our first child, was a “catnapper” and very unhappy as a baby; I am desperate for this not to be the case for our new baby. I have been reading the advice on the website and in the book but am at a loss as to whether to let my son sleep for the two hours by walking him or to start sleep training? He is also not sleeping through the night, he wakes between 2-4am. We need some help urgently. At present he feeds 7.30am, 10.30am, 2pm, 5.45pm, 10-11pm which are all 6oz feeds and takes 5ozs at 2.30am. He naps at 9-9.45am, 12-12.45pm,1-1.45pm and 4-4.45pm. He is settled by 7pm.
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3.
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Using previous advice you gave about getting my son to sleep without being held, he now settles well at all his naps and sleeps. However I have a problem with him remaining asleep for two hours at the lunchtime nap. He is happy to sleep for 30-45 minutes, but will never return to sleep after this. Sometimes he will be content to lie there for another 30-45 minutes sucking his thumb; at other times he will cry. I have tried the controlled crying method and just leaving him when he does suck his thumb but to no avail. He settles well at 7pm and does usually wake in the night, but will settle himself by sucking his thumb until 7am when he wakes for his feed. He is normally quite grumpy in the afternoon but has been more so lately. My son has 5 feeds of 7ozs at 7am,10.45am,2pm,6.15pm and 10.20pm. We have never been able to wake him for his 10pm feed, as he is deeply asleep but still takes his bottle. I am about to increase his feeds to 8ozs to see if it improves his grumpiness. He weighs 18lbs. He naps at 9-9.30am, 12.00-12.45pm, 2.30-3pm. I cannot understand why he will settle himself back to sleep at night but not in the day. His room is pitch black with blinds.
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| 2. |
My 10 week old son has been on the routine for about a month now, but it seems like the moment I get one problem solved, another pops up. Originally I was having problems with the lunchtime nap as well as early morning waking. So I started keeping him awake for 1 hour at the 10pm feed. Since doing this he stirs slightly at 4am, but goes back to sleep and again at 5:50 but goes back to sleep until I wake him at 7. The problem that we still have is his lunchtime nap at 12. At every sleep he cries when I put him down for about 1- 10 minutes but eventually settles himself and goes to sleep. The problem is that he wakes at 1pm, I'm sure it's due to his sleep cycles. Occasionally he will cry for 10 minutes then settle back to sleep, but if he has slept well through the night, he refuses to go back to sleep.I am trying to practice controlled crying, going in after 10 minutes, then 15, etc. However the main problem is that he begins to cry uncontrollably, working up a sweat and waking himself up completely. If he does fall asleep again, it's usually for about 1 to 10 minutes, when he wakes up again and starts the whole cycle over. Also because his crying is so wearing he begins to gasp which usually wakes him up if he does manage to settle himself. When I go in to settle him, he rarely stops crying, but I usually stay no longer than 2 minutes. Should I be trying harder to calm him down or just leaving him? If I leave him, he seems to get more uncontrollable and is unable to get back to sleep. This continues throughout the final hour of his sleep when I get him up at 2:15. I feel as if he will never learn, as I always eventually get him up when he's supposed to. Also if he does fall asleep it's not until almost 2pm. Should I still get him up at 2:15-2:30 or should I leave him to sleep a little longer? Also after his 9am nap, which is about 30-45 minutes, he is very grumpy through to the lunch time nap and is often very sleepy at 11am. I make sure he gets his full feed at 11 by giving him an expressed bottle of 6ozs at this time so I know it's not hunger waking him during his lunch nap.He also has an afternoon nap of 30 minutes from 4.15-4.45pm.At present he is breast fed at 7am, 2.30pm, and 5pm. I give expressed feeds by bottle at 11am, 6.30pm and 11pm. At those feeds he takes between 6-7ozs. He weighs 14lbs.
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| 1. |
Hi - my 10-week-old daughter, Alice, has been following Gina's routines since birth and is a very contented baby. Thank you. However, she is waking up 35-45 minutes after I put her down for her lunchtime nap. I know this is a common problem and I have tried all the tips that Gina suggests to no avail. So that Alice does not get overtired later on in the afternoon, I put her down for an hour and 20 minutes after her 2pm feed. My question, therefore, is does it matter if Alice has her lunchtime nap after lunch?
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Night Waking
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I have two problems with my 16 week identical twin girls. The first is that twin 1 is waking more and more during the night and does not really settle for a few hours. She generally wakes around 2.30am and will keep waking every 15mins or so until about 5.30am when she will go to sleep (we go to her between 6-8 times). To settle her we resort to a dummy as nothing else works but this does not last long either. I want to avoid the dummy as she will go to sleep without it to begin with. I’ve tried water but this makes no difference .I’ve tried giving her more milk in the evening but she won’t take it. We do dash in to settle for fear of waking twin 2 who most nights will sleep through. They are both in their cots in sleeping bags firmly tucked in with a sheet. During the day this twin chews her fists an awful lot and can be a bit grumpy after she wakes up waiting for a feed but sometimes she won't finish a feed. So I didn't think she would be ready for solids, they were also 3 weeks early so only 13 weeks with time adjusted. Sometimes when we go in she appears wide awake but as soon as she is given a dummy or picked up she drops to sleep but will be awake 15 minutes later.
The second problem is with twin 2 who will often sleep through from 11-7am but will scream and wake between 7-11pm. When we feed them at 6.30pm they are very sleepy and will fall straight to sleep. We always try to wake them as we put them down but this is hard to do. 10minutes later twin 2 will wake up and cry (resulting in twin 1 being woken). We go in every 10minutes to pat her etc but she just screams and gets into a real state ( I try picking her up and burping her but it makes no difference) I understood this is the crying down method but she seems to get worse until she is sometimes sick. I'm not sure how this differs from controlled crying which I understood they are too young for. If she doesn't fall asleep (which can take over an hour) I end up picking her up and cuddling her to sleep as her scream is like she is in pain. She sometimes wakes again during this time with the whole process starting over.
Our next move was to separate them which I don't want to be a long term solution as we only have a tiny spare room. Sorry there are two problems but I would appreciate some advice as things seem to be getting worse. When they were fed in the night they slept fine only ever waking once.
The twins are fed at 7.15am 4-5ozs, not interested in having more at this time, 10.45am 6-7ozs, 2.45pm 6-7ozs, 5.30pm 3ozs , they are too sleepy to take it all at 6.30pm, 6.30pm 4ozs, 10.30pm 6-7ozs, this feed is a bit of a struggle as they are rather sleepy.
Twin 1 weighs 13.6lbs and twin 2 weighs 12.8lbs.
The girls nap at 9-9.45am, 11.45-2pm and 4.30-5pm.
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| 7. |
I know I shouldn't compare children but I have 4 yr and 21 month old boys who were perfect Gina babies and dropped the night feed by 6 weeks and were 7am-7pm every night by 14 weeks. They seemed to fall into the routines no problem and were exclusively breastfed. My 15 week old son naps alright in the morning but has never slept well at lunchtime. He is always very sleepy when feeding at 11am, so I feed one side change his nappy do the other side and now give him a top up bottle. He goes down after about 20mins crying then wakes after 30mins and I have left him to cry or taken him in his buggy but he just won’t sleep.
Although until he was 10 weeks I was fairly happy as he would wake once in the night have a quick feed and settle immediately and wake at 7am. Since 10 weeks he has slept through from 11.30pm sometimes 4 nights in a row. At other times he was waking up once maybe twice, then in the last week he is waking several times from about 2am. I leave him to cry 20mins before going in; sometimes I feed him or just cuddle him. I have tried giving him water but he just spits it out. Sometimes he settles again, other times he will carry on crying. I have left him to cry for longer but am conscious of waking everyone else up. Some nights when I have given him a feed he still wakes up an hour later, so am not sure if he is hungry or has developed a bad association and cannot settle himself. In the last week or so he has started sucking his thumb and seems to get really cross if he cannot get his thumb in whist getting to sleep.
I am desperate for him to sleep through particularly at night but also at lunch time - it is unfair on the other two as I am feeling really tired and ratty. Do you think he is hungry and I should stop breastfeeding and give him more formula or is it a bad sleep association he has developed?
He is fully breast fed at each feed for 20mins. At 10.45am he takes a 3oz formula top up after his feed. At 6pm he takes a 4oz top up and at 10.30pm he takes a 3oz top up. At 4am he takes about 10mins on one side or will sometimes take both sides. He weighs 6.32kls.
He naps at 9-9.45am, 12.30-1pm 4-4.30pm and is settled at 7pm.
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6.
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Despite following the routines since birth and despite my son's good weight, he will not sleep through the night - he has done so only on a handful of occasions, despite me following all the advice in the CLB book. He has between 3-3.5 hrs sleep during the day and settles well for his morning and lunchtime nap. He is still taking a split feed at 5 and 6pm according to the recommendation in the book for a baby who does not sleep through. However he is still waking at 4.00am-ish and some nights at 2.30am, again at 3.30am and then again at 4.30am and despite trying controlled crying (last night we left him for 20 minutes), I normally have to feed him in order to resettle him; however he wakes again at 6.15am when a dummy usually gets him back to sleep and then again at 7.00am. The feed in the night, at which he takes approx 5oz has the knock-on effect of him not being very hungry at 7.00am. Should I introduce solids as he is now 15.5 wks old? As I am sure you can appreciate that having had only a handful of full nights sleep in 16 wks, I am at the end of my tether; I can't understand that despite following your routines, he doesn't seem to be able to sleep through. During the day he is a very happy little baby.
He presently weighs 14.2oz and feeds at 7.15am 5ozs, 10.30am 5.5ozs, 2pm 7ozs, 5pm 4ozs, 6.15pm 5.5ozs,10.30pm 6ozs.
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| 5. |
My 11 and a half week old baby has gone through the night without feeds a couple of times, I had suspected she did not need them for a while as I was only giving a couple of ounces and she was cutting back on her 7am feed. However, she has now started waking in the night again and the only way I seem to be able to resettle her is to give the dummy. I have tried water which does work but then she wakes again 10 minutes later. With the dummy I have to give it a number of times before she finally gets off. What can I do? Should I just let her cry? Or should I go back to feeding her. She never has had the dummy at night before, however I have always given her one to settle herself for daytime naps - I don’t know any other way. She does usually spit it out fairly quickly though and is fine. I am really worried I am creating (or have already created) a dummy dependency that will mean I am up and down all night every night but I don’t know how to break the habit without leaving her to cry. For the day naps, I have just started using the dummy to settle her but then removing it when I put her in the cot..... But this doesn’t work at night. Just for information, I cannot get her to have the full lunchtime nap whatever I try, so I give her half hour after her 2pm feed, and another half hour at 4.30. My daughter feeds at 7am 6ozs, 10.30am 7ozs, 2pm 6ozs, 5pm 6ozs, 6.30pm 2ozs and 11pm 6ozs. She weighs 12lbs 2ozs. She naps at 9-9.45am, 11.50-12.50pm, 2.40-3.05pm and 4.30-5pm. She settles at 7pm.
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| 4. |
My baby son is our second baby and we have implemented the routines since birth as we did with our first son. He is very content and we are really enjoying him. However he has not yet slept through from the 10.30pm feed to morning. He slept until 6am twice but apart from that it is anything from 3.55am to 5.15am usually. He was capable of this from a very young age. I have ruled out hunger as he was cutting back a lot on his 7am feed. I gradually reduced the feed in the night and now (for the last 4 nights) settle him with water. I have to put a bit of sugar in it to get him to take it. The pattern is very erratic - it could be 4am tonight and 5.10am tomorrow. He has no bad sleep associations and settles very well for all naps and at 7pm and 11.30pm. We have even got through the lunchtime light sleep issue within a couple of days of letting him fuss and I always have to wake him at 2.20pm. Light or noise are not the issue as we live in the country so there are no street lights, car alarms, etc. and no one in the house is noisy at these times. He is still fully swaddled as I wanted to try to figure out this problem before I added another variable. Some nights when he wakes he may have a hand out but often he doesn't. I don't think he is too hot as it is quite cold at night. Likewise I don't think he’s cold. I'm baffled - any ideas? How long will I continue to settle him with water? Will it become a habit itself? Is he starting to need it to settle back in the night? I dread having to get tough on this as he is such a good baby it seems unfair - also there's the issue of waking my contented toddler! I was considering sleeping in the nursery with him for a couple of nights to see if that reveals anything but not sure what I'll figure out in the dark? My son takes 6-7ozs at 7am, 11am, 2.30pm and 10.30pm. He takes 7-8ozs at 6.15pm. He is offered water in the afternoon. He naps from 9-9.50am, 12.05-2.20pm and 4.35-4.55pm. He weighed 13lbs at 9 weeks old.
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My 9 week old struggles to take a morning nap. He sometimes goes down for a lunchtime nap but can waken after an hour in which case I cannot get him back to sleep, which results in a really cranky baby from about 3.30 onwards until bed time. My husband and I are at our wits end with the constant crying all day if we can't get him to take his naps. He is an excellent baby at night. He goes down no problem at 7pm, gets woken up for the 10.30pm feed and goes back to sleep until 6.30am/6.45am in the morning. We don't understand why he sleeps so well at night, which we want, but can't settle for his naps during the day. Could it be we are over stimulating him too much in between feeds or do we possibly need to use the controlled crying method?
He takes 6ozs at 7am, 10.30am, 6.15pm and 10.30pm. He takes 5ozs at 2.30pm. He weighs 12lbs 5.5 ozs.
He naps from 8.50-9.20am and 12-1.15pm.
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| 2. |
My 11-week-old daughter has been in a good sleeping pattern but for the last three days this has gone a bit wrong in the evening. She has started to wake at 3am wanting a small feed and then again at 5-6am. Although if she fed at 3am, she will put herself back to sleep at 5-6am and wake up around 7am. She used to sleep from 11/11.30 through to 6am before but recently has changed to this new pattern. What can we do to correct this habit? And when should we look to bring the 10.30pm feed forward? How can we increase daytime feeds as she always refuses more, and if we try and give her more she vomits? At present she feeds at 7.30am 90 ml breast, 10.30am 90-110mls formula, 2.30pm 90 ml breast, 5.30pm 90-130mls formula, 6.45pm 50 ml breast/formula, 10.30pm 90-130mls formula and 3.30am breast 2 minutes, giving her a total of 540mls. She weighs 4.22kg.
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My mother gave me all of the Contented Baby books before my son Pasha was born and I had read the book, made my charts and was ready to have him on a schedule from day one. He was born a healthy 7lbs 10oz and today, at eleven weeks he weighs 12.5 lbs. Unfortunately Pasha was born with jaundice and I had to feed him every two hours for the first two weeks of his life which made putting him on a schedule very difficult. He is bottle fed. I have been following your schedule for the past month and everything has been going smoothly – he naps well during the day and goes to sleep very happily at 7:00pm. We wake him up at 10:30pm for his final feed but unfortunately he is still waking up at 4:00am. How can I start to have him sleep through the night? I feel like he has an automatic alarm clock because whether we feed him at 10:00pm /10:30pm or 11:00pm, he will always wake up at exactly 4:00am. He will sleep until 7:00am after his 4:00am feed (3oz). What should I do? Another concern is that, according to your book, he should be eating around 35oz but his general daily consumption (including the 4:00am) is 28oz. I feed him 5oz at 7:00am, 11:00am, 2:00pm, 6:00pm and 10:30pm and 3oz at 4:00am. But my doctor says he should not have more than 30oz per day and no more than 5oz per feed, so do you recommend a extra feeding time slot and if so what time?
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Early Morning Waking
| 2. |
With some persistence, we have succeeded in getting daytime naps more regular and as per 14 week baby recommendation (also a bit longer, as my daughter was previously waking after 45 minutes and not settling herself). We have continued with a 20 minute nap at about 4.30pm and a split feed at 5.15pm/6.15pm as she is invariably very tired at bedtime (she always has had a cry between bath and bottle since very young). She goes down beautifully at 7pm, sometimes a little earlier - up to 15 minutes. However, about 3 weeks ago we cut out the 10.30pm feed (3ozs) because she wasn't finishing her 7am bottle and from around that time she has woken at 5.45am/6am 2 mornings out of 3. She is not in the least upset and will gurgle until I go in at 6.45am, also she still doesn't finish her 7am bottle some mornings, so I have assumed it's not hunger. I have therefore spent the last week trying to help her get back to sleep with mixed success (and at significant cost to my neck and back as it usually takes 20-30 minutes of hanging over her cot!), but this doesn't seem to be having any impact. I am letting her sleep longer from 8.15am to 9.45am to make up, which I am sure is not helping but necessary, and there is no way I could push her later than 8.15am. Should we reintroduce the 10pm feed - and if so, do it as a “dream feed” or actively keep her awake? To be honest, for myself, I think I'd rather have her wake at 6am than keep her awake 10pm-11pm but not sure if that would have a negative impact on her now, or further down the line.
At present she takes 8ozs at 7am, 11am, 7ozs at 2.30pm. 3ozs at 5.15pm and 6ozs at 6.15pm. She weighs 14lbs 1oz.
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My son has been waking up at 5am for the past 3 mornings, after waking at around 7am most mornings before that, for about 2.5 weeks. In the case where he did wake up before 7am, I could always get him back to sleep by either leaving him to cry for a few minutes or giving him a dummy or red bush tea/water. No matter what I tried these past 3 mornings, I could not manage to settle him back to sleep after he woke up at 5am; I left him to cry to 6am, but this does him no good.
I have fitted the blackout blinds and curtains in his bedroom, and in addition to this, I also cover his cot with black fabric which removes all light.
His bedroom is quite warm; I try to keep it cool with a fan. I don't think the heat is related to his early morning waking, as he doesn't always wake when it is warm.
I find him completely unswaddled in the mornings. He may even wake earlier than 5am, having undone his swaddle. I swaddle him with a cotton blanket and a light sheet over that so it is very secure. But he is very strong and seems to get himself out of it at night. He does not unswaddle himself during his lunchtime or morning sleeps. I have tried weaning him from his swaddle, but he does not sleep well without it.
I put him down on his stomach yesterday- without a swaddle and he slept well, but still woke up early this morning.
It seems as if he has outgrown his reflux; we have stopped thickening his milk for the last 6 or so days without any vomiting. He might still have quite a lot of acid in his tummy, as he does seem uncomfortable after some of his feeds.
We think he is teething. He has been chewing on things and his hands for quite some time. I use teething gels and powders and give him Calpol when he cries for no apparent reason. He is not usually a baby that cries often. The Gina routine has helped me to know his cries and what they are for. If he cries other than the times that I expect it, I always know it is discomfort, due to either teething/tummy-ache etc.
As he has been crying about 40 minutes before a feed is due and chewing his fingers, I have introduced baby rice at the 11am feed for the last 3 days. I know he is not yet 4 months but seems so very hungry. He takes the rice well.
The daily progress report below contains information on my normal schedule before he started waking at 5 and 6am. When he wakes this early, he is tired by 7.30am and needs a sleep. I let him sleep till 10am and wake him as I normally would.
However, this morning I managed to keep him occupied and distracted till 9am, so his sleep was not affected. This was very difficult, as he was extremely upset and cranky.
He feeds at 7am 7.5oz, 11am 7.5oz, 2pm 7oz, 5pm 4 oz, 6pm 7.5oz and 10.30pm 5 ozs. All feeds except the 10.30pm are expressed breast milk. He is given formula at 10.30pm. At present he weighs 16.4 lbs.
He sleeps 9-9.45am, 11.30-1.45pm and 4.15-4.45pm.
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Settling/Sleep Associations
| 7. |
My daughter who is just 3 mths has from quite early gone to sleep easily at 7pm, is woken at 10pm for a feed and wakes up once in the night around 4-5am, though on occasion has gone through to 7:15 am or around 6am. I would love to drop the night feed, but suspect it is from habit and maybe not getting enough milk during the day. She is a very efficient feeder, feeding for only 10 -15 minutes at a time day and night and absolutely refuses to take any more (screams blue murder) if you try to give her more at an individual feed. Being breastfed, it is difficult to really know, but I think she divides her daily intake by 6 not 5 so is still stuck on 6 feeds per day not 5. Her weight gain is great.
She has always slept well with no sleep association problems. The problem is that she loves being swaddled and to date has slept like a charm. However just recently she has been waking more (sometimes between 7 and 10pm) and twice during the night and appears to be fighting to get out of the swaddle. I tried to take the swaddle away, but instead she flails her arms around and either won't settle, or if I settle her by rocking (which I don't want to do long term causing a sleep association problem), will wake 45 minutes later. I tried one arm out, but instead she just flailed that one arm about.
My daughter breasts feed at 7.30am, 10.30am, 2.00pm, and 5pm taking 10-15minutes, at 6.30pm 10minutes, second half of split feed and 4.30am 10-15minutes. At 10.30pm she takes 120mls formula.
My daughter weighs 5.9kg [13lbs].
She naps at 8.45-9.45am, 11.30-2.00pm and 4-4.30pm. She settles at 7pm.
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| 6. |
My son of 3.5-months-old has developed dummy addiction as he was, and still is, a very sucky baby and is now waking in the night several times. I have read your case study on Harry and feel this is very appropriate but my query is about dummy versus thumb.
My son will now put his thumb in his mouth if his dummy isn’t in and I am wondering if I go cold turkey with the dummy, will thumb sucking will replace the dummy and become a worse long term problem? Everyone I have asked says: “the dummy you can take away, a thumb you can’t”. What is your view on this, as I don’t want to do controlled crying with him if its only going to create another problem later with dental problems from long term thumb sucking? Is a few months of interrupted sleep until he finds the dummy himself better than a thumb sucker that could last for years? Please help; I also don’t feel that his sucking is hunger related as he is gaining sufficient weight and I feel it is more a self-soothing mechanism.
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| 5. |
My daughter was addicted to her dummy (for sleeping) and was starting to wake regularly looking for it, so last week we took it away and used the suggested controlled crying method to get her to sleep. (I read the case study of the 15-week-old). The first 2 days she behaved similarly to the baby in the case study, but since then there has been no improvement in her crying, and most naps she now cries longer and harder and it’s getting worse and worse. I have increased the amount of time before I go in, but she gets more and more hysterical. I have just bought a cot bumper because she was getting her arms and legs caught in cot bars (despite having her sleeping bag on). The room is as dark as I can get it in this heat. Additionally she is now waking between 4 and 5am and taking up to 2 hours of crying to get back to sleep. Today, for the first time in ages, she woke from her lunchtime nap after 45 minutes and screamed for 45mins before I gave up and got her up. She usually cries out a bit at this time and then goes back to sleep either with or without her dummy.
I am at a loss as to what to do as I don't want to give up and go back to her dummy, plus I have a nearly 3-year-old who is getting more and more distressed (and difficult!) during the crying.
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I would like to know a little more about crying down. I have successfully used controlled crying techniques with my older son, when he was a year, but it is recommended by Dr Ferber that these are only used on babies over 5 to 6 months. I have been struggling with my 11 week old daughter for 11 weeks now! She was very colicky (I think), fretful anyway all evening and wouldn't settle until at least midnight, until very recently, when I think she was no longer in pain and probably just over-tired. I therefore decided to try your routines. Feeding wasn't a problem as I had her on a regular feeding schedule in any case. Sleeping was more of a problem. She would settle well at the times suggested but needed a dummy to settle her. She also woke 45 minutes after being settled for her lunchtime and night time sleep. When I gave her the dummy 45 minutes after waking from the night sleep she then settled well but I left the dummy with her. I am very conscious of creating sleep association problems, as had happened with my older son, and note that you suggest not letting the baby have the dummy in the cot. I therefore, removed the dummy as she was getting drowsy before she was asleep and she began to cry and continued to do so for a good 30 minutes. She did finally fall asleep, but began crying again after about 45 minutes. Please help - I don't know whether to leave her or not, and if so how long for? Am I supposed to be going in to her at regular intervals as with controlled crying, or just leave her? At present she takes 6ozs formula at 7am 12midday, 4pm 7pm and 3am. I have only been using the routines for a day or two. She naps at 8.30-9.40am, 12.15-2pm and 4-4.30pm. She settles at 8pm.
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As I have to express all feeds, I am finding it difficult to stick to the evening routine. I start feeding at 6.15pm but it only takes 10-15mins to finish the feed rather than the 40 minutes it would take if I were breast-feeding. Should I be putting her down at 6.30pm after she has fed or keeping her awake until 7.00pm? It doesn't feel right to be stimulating her until 7.00pm when it should be her wind-down time – but will the earlier bedtime eventually have a knock-on effect? Also, if I put her down at 6.30pm, she's not going to bed two hours since last waking, as Gina suggests. Is that a problem? At present she sleeps 9.00-9.45am, 12.00-2.15pm and 4.30-5.00pm. Also, is there an equation for breast milk like the one for formula on page 62 of CLB?
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Oscar has always been difficult to settle to sleep at 7pm. For the last three weeks we have tried controlled crying, but he is still crying wildly every night for at least an hour. He only falls asleep when totally exhausted. I follow a strict routine between 5pm and 7pm and put him down in his Moses basket not fully asleep. He is given a full feed at 11pm, but takes this in his sleep. He then wakes about 3.30-4.30am taking between a half to a full feed and settles again until around 6am. Oscar followed the routines from about 2 weeks. He was put to sleep in his nursery which has full black out blinds and curtains. He has all his nappy changes there. During most days I took him out either in the car or buggy, at times which coincided with his nap times. Lately he has been waking at the lunchtime nap after 30-45 minutes and not re-settling. I decided to give him his naps at home in his room, as I felt he had developed wrong sleep associations with always being out at these times. I have tried controlled crying at these times for 3 days but Oscar is getting hardly any sleep as he cries hysterically when out sleeping in his moses basket. Despite such little daytime sleep he is still hysterical at 7pm, and now is beginning to wake really early [6am]. This makes it difficult to stay on the routine during the day. He is feeding at about the right times but not getting nearly enough daytime sleep. Oscar weighs 12lbs 8ozs and is taking between 29-36ozs of formula milk every 24hrs. His feeds are roughly 06.30 6ozs, 10.00 5 1/2 ozs, 14.00 51/2ozs, 17.00 2ozs, 18.00 4ozs, 23.00 6 ozs, 03.45am between 2 and 6 ozs. He takes about 1oz of water at 3.30pm. His sleeping and feeding are beginning to vary a lot each day. He has been fed Nutramigen since 6 weeks after he appeared to develop colic at 4 weeks and cried all day. I gave up breast feeding entirely at 5 weeks as it was suggested this was the cause of the colic. Before this, he had top ups of formula as I found he was taking two hours to feed. Oscar sleeps 08.30-09.30,12.00-12.30, 16.30-17.00 in the day.
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My daughter, Erris, is eight weeks old and well established on the routines, and feeds and naps at the correct times throughout the day. The only problem is when I put her down at 7pm. She naps in her pram in the morning, in her cot at lunchtime and in the afternoon she sleeps in the car while I collect her brother from nursery. After a small feed at 5pm (3oz) she enjoys a kick on her mat, followed by a bath at 6pm. I give her the second part of the feed downstairs while my son watches a DVD and drinks his milk. Erris is content to sit in her chair after winding until I take her upstairs at 6.55pm. At this point, however, she begins to fidget and I give her a dummy to calm her and prevent her from getting upset. Often she has hiccups and loses her dummy. I have to go in two or three times to retrieve the dummy, re-settle her and sometimes I even resort to rocking her before she settles at 7.45pm. I have bought a lullaby light, sat with her in the dark and tried top-up feeds, but nothing helps. What else can I try?
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Daytime Sleep
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My son of 3 months will only nap in his bouncy chair during the day. If left to settle in his cot he becomes hysterical. His naps last no longer than 30 minutes. He settles easily in his cot at 7pm and sleeps through the night from his late feed to 6.30am.
His room has blackout blinds so is totally dark. He is not getting anywhere near the three hours daytime sleep he needs. I cannot understand why he sleeps so well at night but seems unable to do so in the day.
Feeding details
7.00am: 6ozs formula
10.00am: 6ozs formula
1.00pm: 6ozs formula
2.00pm: 1oz juice
4.00pm: 5-6ozs formula
7.00pm: 7ozs formula
Daily milk intake 36 ozs
My son naps at 8.30-9.00am, 12.00-12.20pm, 3.00-3.10pm and 4.30-5pm. He settles at 7.30pm
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My 15 week daughter is very small for her age and more sleepy than most. She gets very angry if I try to shorten her morning nap as she likes to have her two and a half hour sleep in the morning. She suffers food allergies and eczema so never really gets a good nights sleep. She wants to feed up to 3 times in the night for comfort due to the itching. Due to her allergies we won't start her on solids until as late as possible and we're worried she will react to formula. Lots of pressure for me to breast feed! She dislikes being swaddled and scratchmits don't help. She still sleeps three times a day: 8.50-11.20am, 12.20-1.30pm and 4-4.45pm. She goes to bed at 7pm. And often wakes at 5am. How shall I regulate her naps without upsetting her? Or should I just leave her alone because she is so small and uncomfy?
Until now she has been fully breast fed, although we have just introduced goat's milk formula as top-ups, and will continue providing there is no reaction. I have started to give her 60mls top ups after each feed, but I am not sure if I should only do this before the lunchtime nap and at night. Obviously I want to protect my milk supply.
If she has not slept well in the day I will leave her until 10.30/11pm before waking her. Once she has fed then she will settle in 30minutes and then wakes at 12.30am, 2.30am, 3.30/4am and 6am. I often feed her one or both sides at these times to settle her back to sleep. She is sleepy at these feeds but seems to manage to empty my breasts most of the time. Due to her unsettled nights she sleeps in her pram bag in my bed. During the day and at 7pm she sleeps in her pram bag in her cot, which is in out room.
She usually settles well at night using a dummy. At 4am she doesn’t settle and it can take her 45minutes of her lying next to me loudly complaining. Sometimes I resort to her Baby Mozart CD which works quite fast as I use in the evening for her bedtime association since she cannot be bathed every day, due to her skin.
Often if she wakes at 6am she won’t settle again. If she does I do make the effort to start the day at 7am but it can be difficult due to both of us having sleep deprivation.
During the day my daughter feeds are 7am for 5mins on each side, emptying both breasts. At 11.30am, 2.30pm and 5pm she takes a 10minute feed. She has 5-10mins at 6.45pm to settle her for the evening. She weighs 10lbs 4ozs.
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My husband is away on business for 6 weeks, so I have come to stay with my parents. My home is in the countryside and it is very quiet outside. My daughter has become used to sleeping in a quiet environment. Our home is very soundproof and if I knew there was going to be some noise outside I would switch on some white noise in her room so her sleep was not disturbed. Now we are staying with my parents who live on a road with cars and lorries frequently going past. There are so many adults staying in the house that it is impossible for the house to be quiet all the time. She is sleeping well at night, as once into a deep sleep the noise doesn’t disturb her. However, it is proving impossible for her to get enough sleep by day, as it is either too noisy for her to settle, or a sudden noise will wake her up. My wonderful contented baby has become an overtired, crying wreck. It took two flights to get here so I don't want to go back home early, but we have another 5 weeks to go, what can I do?
At present she naps from 7.30-8.10am, 10-10.15am, 12.30-1.10pm and 3.30-4pm.
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Gina's routine works well for my 9-week-old son. At night he is taking 4oz after his bath and falling asleep by 7pm, waking at 10.30pm for another 4oz. He then he goes until 4/5/6am (it varies at the moment). We start the days at 7am but my problem is that he falls asleep without exception about an hour after the first feed starts, similarly this happens after the 10am feed, so his naps are always early and this throws everything else out of sync, and we never make it to 2pm for the next feed as he is awake by 1pm. He does however manage to get back on track for 5pm. He sleeps at 8.15-9am, 11.15-1pm, 3-4pm and is settled by 7pm. He presently breast feeds at 7am, 10am, 1 and 2pm split feed, 5pm, 6pm 4 ozs formula, 10.30pm 4ozs formula, 4/5/6am small breast feed. He weighs 13lbs 6ozs. He also will not sleep in his nursery at lunchtime; he sleeps much better during the day where there is noise and activity (i.e. in the middle of a BBQ for 14 people!) How can I change this?
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My son is 14-weeks-old. Since he was six weeks old he has slept in his cot. Following the CLB advice I put him in a 0.5tog sleeping bag which I secured under the mattress. I used a thin cotton sheet and cellular blanket over him secured with two rolled towels down the sides. All was well for about six weeks but he has now started to move diagonally up the cot and bang his head on the side. He sometimes wakes 3 times in the night. It could be because he has banged his head or maybe he is cold. I have tried not securing the sleeping bag under the mattress and not using any covers, but nothing seems to make any difference. I can’t put him to sleep at the top of the cot- or can I if I don’t use any covers? Someone on the message boards suggested cot bumpers but I am worried about this as he does get quite hot, and I am afraid that he would push into them. Removing the covers was also suggested as he perhaps feels restricted. Should I put him in a warmer sleeping bag?
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My son is 13 weeks old. He was 8lb 1 at birth and at 12 weeks was 15lb 5oz. He is breastfed. I am having problems with his sleeping both at lunchtime and in the night. I feed him at 7am, 10.15/30am, 2.15/30pm, a split feed at 5.15pm and 6.15pm and then again at 10pm. He feeds well at all times (even 10pm if we try particularly hard) and cries to be fed at 10.15am and 5.15pm so I have not been able to push the feeds to 11am and after the bath.
At night his waking is inconsistent but he generally wakes up between 3am-5am and feeds very hungrily. Recently he has also been waking at 5.50/6.10am and we are having varied success in putting him back down until 7am. We have tried letting him cry with no success and he is sometimes able to be cuddled to sleep. I do not feed him at this juncture. He sleeps between 9am and 9.30/45am and 12 and 12.30/1pm. I struggle to keep him awake at 9am and 12 noon. I usually get him up if he wakes during his morning nap and never leave him after 9.45am. At the lunchtime nap we have sometimes been able to get him back down after a cuddle (again crying doesn’t work) and often I take him out in the car or pram to get him back to sleep so as not to upset the rest of the routine. Prior to him having a cold at 10 weeks he slept through from 12pm until 2.15pm or until I woke him. Generally he is having 3 hours sleep or less during the day and I never let him sleep after 5pm.
There are a couple of other factors - he was in a crib until 10 weeks and we used to rock him to sleep (a mistake I know) and it is not dark in his room (it is temporary accommodation and we are unable to change this until he is 20 weeks when we move back home - it is Scotland though so it is still pitch black at 5am).
I really don’t know how to deal with the waking. Should I leave him until he is older to do controlled crying, or accept that his daytime sleep cycle is not ideal and allow him extra naps in the afternoon until he is older? I think the issue is really that he can’t settle himself back to sleep (he is great at going down with only minutes of whimpering) - any ideas greatly appreciated.
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Hi. Firstly can I say I think your book is brilliant. We have used it from day one on our baby and swear by it and have recommended it to many friends.
We are living in Switzerland and have recently been back to NZ for a month. Charlie, our 13-week-old baby, slotted in very well to his routine after about a day in NZ but on our return he he has started waking in the night - we are thinking maybe due to jetlag. He had started sleeping through from 11pm-7am just before we left Switzerland when he was about 7 weeks old. Then he stopped for a couple of weeks in NZ, then began sleeping through again from 11pm-7am for the last two weeks in NZ.
Since being back here (we have been back one week), he has been sleeping from 11pm to about 3.30am when he wakes (he woke at 2am and 6am last night). We let him cry himself back to sleep which takes between 10-30 minutes, but then he always wakes up again an hour or so later, in fact, every hour until 7am. I have given him a breast feed at 3.30am once or twice and it has seen him through until 7am, but we are concerned that he is getting into the habit of waking at this time and so have been just letting him cry.
What should we do? We are following your 8-12 week routine strictly and he is feeding and sleeping at the times you specify. We are thinking perhaps he could be going through his 3 month growth spurt which may be having some effect on him?
He was 7.5 pounds at birth and is now a little over 13 pounds. He seems to feed well at each feed during the day although lately has been exhausted at the 6pm feed but still seems to feed properly (I think). He now goes to sleep straight away at 7pm when it used to take him 10-20 minutes to settle himself for this sleep.
Anyway we would really appreciate some advice on what to do as we are both becoming exhausted.
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